Eyes on me.
Disclaimer

Hate me, get out of the way.
Love me, stay.
♥This is me.
Hi, im Elaine. im 19 this year. still looking for my santa claus.
i am obsessed with;
harry potter, twilight, and myself.
i absoutely hate;
guys (i'm 100% straight)
So you think you can dance?
Shopping List
i want,
lots of money
a boyfriend
a meaningful career
damn good figure
pretty clothes
Butterfly, fly away
name name name name name name name name name name name name name name name


Talk About Love

♥ you love me .

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Tyvm.
by: /[R]agdoll-
pictures: one
basecode: sweet_surrender
others: blogger blogskins

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July 29, 2012

Testing testing. Am thinking of starting a food review blog. But has to wait til I graduate, which is still quite a long way to go. Zzz. So testing some pictures here. Hahaha.

Anyway the picture below is a scene I took in hong kong. Just to see how it turns out in the blog. Hmmm.

And marina bay sands as well.

loves;
7:57 AM;

June 5, 2012

I was too judgmental in the past, causing the people around me to think twice about making a friend like me. I was too strict in deciding who I wanna be friends with and this, restricted my social circle of friends. I never take the initiative to connect with friends, unless they contact me first. So if I SMS you everyday, you should know I really care about you. If not I would be lazy to put in such effort.

Through time, I realize making friends is not about choosing the right one and restricting my own social circle. It's about being open to the people around me. To take the initiative to connect with old friends and keep this friendship alive. To be able to talk about everything to understand each other better.

I promise I will improve myself to become a more friendly person :)

loves;
8:28 PM;

May 20, 2012

So many things to worry about. Worry about whether I can pass all my modules, if I fail one where am I going to get money for retaking that module, the horror of retaking any of those module, worrying about money issues. Seriously, I'm going crazy with so much things.

That's why I borrowed some books form the library, just to keep my mind fix on something. Yes, I do read, quite frequently when I was in sec school. And then, became too busy to even go to the library.

Was prepared to work when I was back from my holiday. But who knows. Oh well. Maybe I should just enjoy my holidays and stay at home or go paktor. Hahaha.

I have a bad feeling about my future. Somehow it's like everything is going against me. And there's no one to blame. That's the worse part.

loves;
10:47 PM;

March 29, 2012

Recently, I have been under a significant amount of stress. Or maybe worrying for things I can very well let go, but just can't bear to let go. I know there are lots of people stressing over various personal issues. But when you are feeling this way, you just wish to talk to somebody. But I don't know what to say. What exactly am I stressing about? Somehow, I just don't feel relax, like something's bothering me, but I'm not sure what is it.

There's a part of me who wants to give up everything. Give up being the tough girl that I am. I just want to enjoy life. Seriously, I really don't know what's my problem.

loves;
9:13 PM;

February 20, 2012

I always thought it was about others and not about me. But I realized, maybe it is about me after all. Is it my quiet personality? Why doesn't people feel like they include me in their group? To be honest, I really don't think there's something wrong with me. Blame it on their insensitivity. If only people could be more tolerant and dispel their stereotype, the world would become a better place.

Life in uni is not like in poly and secondary school at all. I do miss those days. The days when people take the initiative to talk to you and where we go in big groups to lunch or outing. Uni days are also so much busier with essays projects and whatnot. So looking forward to graduation.

Wonder what will happen to me when I go to the real working life. Will I be alone as well? :(

loves;
10:08 AM;

January 9, 2012

I think there's a time whereby people feel restless and tired to carry on in life. I'm going through that phase now. Its like I'm too tired to care about anything else except studying and dating. Oops. I admit, I'm really tired of working , tired of doing things which don't get me any return, tired of dealing with friends who don't deserve my friendship. In short, I need a break.

Have a strong urge to just quit my part time job now and go back to breadtalk. Ya, i know, its damn stupid. But, that's the place where I feel really happy working. The place that kept me smiling and laughing no matter how tired I was. If only my ex colleague were still there :(

So now, I'm giving a serious thought of taking up a part time job in the retail sector. BUT, I know my end decision will still be to stay where I am, which is demoralizing. Think I should go seek GUAN YIN MA for advice soon. Or maybe counselling services. Zzz.

loves;
9:20 PM;

January 1, 2012

Realized its been one year since i last updated. Probably I've been so pissed off by something which makes me come back to this secret private corner.

Sometimes, people wonder what will happen to them in the future, say 10 years later? Would you still be hanging out with the same best friend you had in secondary school? Would you still remain the same innocent you? Or would the environment somehow changed you entirely?

Like everybody else, I used to have a best friend too. I thought our friendship would be lasting, even if not forever. I realized how much people can change. And just yesterday, I realized I don't know how to face you anymore. No matter how you'll deny, you've changed. That's a fact. Appearance changing for the better, but sad to say, not the personality wise. Or maybe we have different values now, which is always the reason why even best friends can become foes.

And trust me, I really want to keep this friendship, but you really disappoint me yesterday. I wonder whether you treat me as a friend in the first place. If you do, you won't make that kind of decision. I wish you could really know the real reason behind why I'm angry, but since you insist that you did nothing wrong, I have nothing more to say.

So what will become of us 10 years later?

loves;
11:19 PM;