Loving you is my favourite mistake;

February 20, 2012

I always thought it was about others and not about me. But I realized, maybe it is about me after all. Is it my quiet personality? Why doesn't people feel like they include me in their group? To be honest, I really don't think there's something wrong with me. Blame it on their insensitivity. If only people could be more tolerant and dispel their stereotype, the world would become a better place.

Life in uni is not like in poly and secondary school at all. I do miss those days. The days when people take the initiative to talk to you and where we go in big groups to lunch or outing. Uni days are also so much busier with essays projects and whatnot. So looking forward to graduation.

Wonder what will happen to me when I go to the real working life. Will I be alone as well? :(

loves;
10:08 AM;

January 9, 2012

I think there's a time whereby people feel restless and tired to carry on in life. I'm going through that phase now. Its like I'm too tired to care about anything else except studying and dating. Oops. I admit, I'm really tired of working , tired of doing things which don't get me any return, tired of dealing with friends who don't deserve my friendship. In short, I need a break.

Have a strong urge to just quit my part time job now and go back to breadtalk. Ya, i know, its damn stupid. But, that's the place where I feel really happy working. The place that kept me smiling and laughing no matter how tired I was. If only my ex colleague were still there :(

So now, I'm giving a serious thought of taking up a part time job in the retail sector. BUT, I know my end decision will still be to stay where I am, which is demoralizing. Think I should go seek GUAN YIN MA for advice soon. Or maybe counselling services. Zzz.

loves;
9:20 PM;

January 1, 2012

Realized its been one year since i last updated. Probably I've been so pissed off by something which makes me come back to this secret private corner.

Sometimes, people wonder what will happen to them in the future, say 10 years later? Would you still be hanging out with the same best friend you had in secondary school? Would you still remain the same innocent you? Or would the environment somehow changed you entirely?

Like everybody else, I used to have a best friend too. I thought our friendship would be lasting, even if not forever. I realized how much people can change. And just yesterday, I realized I don't know how to face you anymore. No matter how you'll deny, you've changed. That's a fact. Appearance changing for the better, but sad to say, not the personality wise. Or maybe we have different values now, which is always the reason why even best friends can become foes.

And trust me, I really want to keep this friendship, but you really disappoint me yesterday. I wonder whether you treat me as a friend in the first place. If you do, you won't make that kind of decision. I wish you could really know the real reason behind why I'm angry, but since you insist that you did nothing wrong, I have nothing more to say.

So what will become of us 10 years later?

loves;
11:19 PM;

January 26, 2011

i'm emo. i wanna go far far away and never come back. why must i be the one making excuses to tell myself he has his reasons for doing things. why can't he understand my thinking. why must i act tough when i really am not. why am i only telling myself why i'm unhappy. why am i not happy.

loves;
11:08 PM;

December 4, 2010

i have alot of things i wana say, to that special friend of mine.
and i wanted to call him alot of times.
but even if i call, can we still behave like what we used to be?
and i start to wonder whether things between us can be just like the past.
when we could share our unhappiness, whats going on in my daily life, and whats making me happy.
i can't say we're strangers now, but somehow it just isn't the same anymore.
i never thought we would become this way, whereby i duno whats going on in your life anymore, and vice versa.
i thought we will always be that way.
and why would things turn out this way then.

i always treated you as more then a friend, more like family, someone who i believe i will always be there for when he's down, which i believe you will do the same for me as well.
i really miss you :(

if somehow i need a shoulder someday, would you still be there for me?

loves;
7:26 PM;

October 24, 2010

So what is it now, oh what does it matter..
my mind is spinning around and around
So what are we now, after yesterday all that has happened.
i tried to keep telling myself, its all the same ending now and forever.
nothings gonna happen, oh dreams just doesn't come true
and now nothing really matters.

they say being a young boy gives you chances to play,
but they didn't think of the point that girls doesn't like to be played.
so what will happen when we all grows old?
are you still gonna play?

don't fool urself that we're worth a try,
coz if you really love me, there should be a forever.
don't tell me that you don't know the future,
when you know we are just impossible...

coz its all just lies... just lies...
which girls still falls inside
and cry when everything is over

because it really is over...

loves;
8:55 PM;

October 8, 2010

现在的心真的很乱，不知道下一步应该怎么走。
对你来说，我到底是谁。
朋友，陌生人吗？
虽然我还满希望我们有天可以在一起，但是你给我的感觉却是根本就没有可能。这才令人伤心嘛。
很想问你好让我也至少有一个答案，不需要再作无谓的猜测。但是，还是没那份勇气。
真的好烦啦！

loves;
9:50 PM;