loves;
10:46 PM;

loves;
9:24 PM;

loves;
3:31 PM;

loves;
7:16 PM;

loves;
7:42 PM;

loves;
1:47 PM;

Been so tired the past 2 days. Busy with work (yes, busy. lols.), busy clearing ants and busy checking whether there are any ants crawling around, busy with insecticides and baby powder and etc. Thats basically my life in Vietnam, the ant killer. LOL. Besides that, had meeting the whole day yesterday, it makes me feel less bored though, at least its something to do. And i remember yesterday is the 1st day of school for NP year 3s. I wonder how my friends are doing. Having fun studying perhaps. How i miss school! Missed the food, lectures, tutorials and all. But i don't think i'm gonna enjoy school when i go back though. Not when i'm alone in the class, with totally nobody i know. HAIS. For now, i'm not looking forward to life at all. My life in Vietnam would be considered bearable if not for those ants who keep torturing me mentally! I think i'm gonna go back to Singapore with a disorder called "antphobia".

Just yesterday, when i was happily sitting on my bed with my laptop, i saw a ANT crawling on the covers of my bed! Oh man, i swear i was scolding the F word. You can imagine how...... exasperate i am. I really hope there won't be any ants in my room today. Its so tiring to clean them everyday just so i can have a good night sleep. I'm so tired i feel like crying. I miss home! I miss my lovely room with NO ANTS! Even though there's no aircon, but its okay now. As long as there's no ants insects, anything is fine. I wonder if ants can be immune to insecticides, because i don't think my insecticide works that well on them anymore. Any ideas?

Have been drinking alot of sweetened drinks in one day since i came Vietnam. Say for example yesterday, i drank green tea in the morning; coffee in the early afternoon and avocado fruit juice in the late afternoon. And i think its becoming a routine for me now. Though i'm trying to cut down on coffee, because its bad for my throat. I still want to maintain my voice! HAHA.

Now..... for good news! Didn't i mention i've got good news?! Hahaha. But oh well, lets keep that for next month. I'm so afraid it won't come true. Everytime i anticipate something, it always backfire. So i've learnt my lesson well. Lols.

please ants, go away.
do not come ever again.

loves;
4:14 PM;

Oh mannn, i'm getting so lazy nowadays, too lazy to blog even. I spent my day lazing on my bed and sleeping yesterday. I slept at 6pm, woke up at around 9pm to brush my teeth and answer my parent's call. I've gt GOOD NEWS to share! But i shan't disclose it first, just in case my good news becomes bad news. Haha.

I realise that some people have no idea where my navigation is. So to accomodate friends like Jun Tee, I have decided to let you all know more about my blog. My blog is not just post and post and post. It does have a shoutmix; a counter; my profile and links to my other friends' blogs. The navigations are on the left side. Please take note of the words: "what i've", "been looking for", "all this time". Click on any of them, they present different things. Clear? Haha. I bet Jun Tee will come scold me later for mentioning her name here. LOL. Too bad!

Anyway, went to lottemart with Loan after work yesterday. During the ride there, I can really feel the sun STINGing my poor skin. The sun here is power man.. Sunglasses here is a need, not a want. So, i'm gonna buy one sometime soon. And i swear i'll become a piece of charcoal when i return to sg, so black my friends won't be able to recognise me. I had the korean zha jiang mian for lunch yesterday! Quite nice leh... It cost me around $6, and its such a BIG bowl! I'm already full 3/4 through, but still struggling to finish the whole bowl since its so expensive. I was complaining to Loan how i can't finish it. And she pop out a very meaningful question for me. Oh man, she asked me: "Beauty or money?". I think i'll choose beauty. LOL. But if you give me a damn rich bank account which is flooding with money, i think i don't mind being ugly then. HAHA. There's always plastic surgery right? Not that i support that la, but if i'm really really ugly, that would be a very good choice. In the end, i just flood my bowl of zha jiang mian with kimchi, because i really dislike the taste of kimchi! That saves me the trouble of thinking! Oh! I also bought something..... which i've just shown to Clara yesterday. Sadly, she say its not very nice. But nevermind, I think its nice! LOL. Should have bought one for Clara too.

I think my blog won't be a dailies any longer. Maybe i'll just update once per 2 days.

too tired to carry on; too tired to stay strong.
Just be myself for now.

loves;
12:58 PM;

This post is late, i know. But i'm so agitated this afternoon i just couldn't blog, because i would then regret everything i blog again.

I was feeling so damn pissed; angry; sad; frustrated and every possible negative feelings that i really feel like crying. But my eyes remain dry, mostly anyway. I was planning a getaway to Singapore INITIALLY! But now, my hopes are all dashed. Whats the problem with going back and coming back again, as long as i like it. But my teachers "discourage" that, actually its jut a plain CANNOT, because I must have a very important and valid reason to go back. WTH! At that very pissed off point, i was really planning to just buy a plane ticket to fly back without letting them know. But when i cool down, i know very well that every actions has its consequence, and worse come to worse, i may just very well fail my whole attachment! So well, now i have 4 very super free days from 30th April til the 4th of May. My teacher suggested that i could explore HCM during the holidays, it would be a good suggestion if i'm not alone here. Dammit. So i guess i'm just going to rot in the villa for the 4 days. Thanks to friends who entertain me this afternoon, because i really need somebody to just talk to me, it helps so much.

After the episode this afternoon, what i really feels like doing now is to spend a whole lot of money! I want to go shopping and buy everything i like. When i'm angry, the best cure for me is to just buy everything nice i see. Thats why i always try to curb my anger, if not, i'll be bankrupt by now. And proud to say, i'm so very seldom angry. Haha.

The company had a meeting to resolve the conflicts between the different departments. Its really an eye opener, i learnt so much. But the best part is, after that, the senior manager Mr Vinh brought us to lunch in a restaurant! In which its on the company's account. Save my lunch money today. But the food is not really good i think. I tried one dish; it looks like a quail egg and abit like garlic, the taste was.... omg, Horrible! I nearly want to puke upon eating that. Sorry to be rude, but some food are quite nice though. Maybe i'm still more suited to eat normal singapore cuisine. LOL.

Sometimes, i'm just so tired i don't wanna care about anything anymore.

I was there for you; and i hope you're here for me

loves;
7:37 PM;

I bet you guys already finish watching the korean F4 drama "BOYS OVER FLOWERS"! Tu showed me the copy she bought yesterday, she bought it as just $2? Or $5? I can't remember. Haha. I'm thinking of getting one for my mum too, she super loves korean drama. But those that she like, i find it too draggy. I'm a fan of taiwanese idol drama though.

Yesterday was just in the office, typing a 14 pages contract! I can't believe i actually typed for the whole 8hrs! I'm not going to opt for an office job when i graduate. Maybe some other job that keeps me really busy, i don't mind standing the whole day either. Thats why i miss my job at breadtalk! Although the pay is not very high, but at least its fun and i love it! Haha, with free bread and drinks somemore. Whats there not to like? I hope Jun Tee's application is successful. Haha, that way i can go and find her.

To be honest, i think i've changed. My personality, the way i speak, the words i use.. Changed somewhat anyway. I feel so like a bad girl. I want to go bk to the past; when i'm so guai and innocent. LOL. In short, i'm just plain stupid in the past. Even though i don't trust anybody, and i'm very attention seeking, very daring. But now, I still don't trust just anybody, but i'll like to keep a low profile though. I feel so ah lian. LOL. And i don't like it. My friends always think that i don't care, but actually i do, i just didn't know how to show it. So friends, you know how i feel right?

I miss the past. The times i spent in Primary school, Secondary school and NP is the greatest and happiest moments in my life. I remember how Hari Haran and me were always bickering, but yet will teach each other homework in primary school. He'll teach me maths, and i'll teach him English. I remember how zakaria taught me to sing Bardots song and ignite my passion for singing. I remember the dumb reason why i took up 3 ccas in primary school. Choir, chinese dance and libarian. Because i'm scared to be alone at home, there might be ghost. LOL. I remember all the dumb crush i had in secondary school. I remember the ugly moments in talentime, and the time when there's still a semibreve. Its sad to see that it don't exist now. I miss the times the four of us used to do crazy things together, went for lunch outside the school and etc. The memory just stuck. I remember the times when YH and me were still good friends, that was before the incident anyway. I remember the times he used to copy my homework! HAHA. And i totally miss the times having recess in the canteen with YH, JH, the 4 of us and some others. I miss the times when we used to study together. Sadly, i do remember khen hui and his erm, not very "clean" table which nobody dares to go near. I remember Jun Tee still had her very crispy vegetable hair than. I remember the times i used to do chemistry, listening so attentively in class. I remember how ming hui and me work hard for our grades, how we compared our results, hoping for improvement the next test. I remember how Mdm Zainah always encourage our class. I remember the fights that lead the breakup of us 4. So many memories of secondary school time, how i wish to go back.


And now, just when i had a super nice class in NP, i choose to come to vietnam. How i want to go outing with my dear rebecca, clara, xue mi..... And sooo many others! I remember how i used to cry during my 1st day of work at breadtalk, how i choose to continue, and i'm glad i did. Because i never did regret my decision.

Til then.

you're the one who's blind; not me

loves;
4:33 PM;

Okay now... I have my own stand on making friends through the net. I don't like strangers asking for my msn or phone number when i barely know them. I mean, isn't it strange to just introduce each other in msn and then find out there's no common topic and i'm being forced to delete you off? I've met some pretty bad cases myself. And i'm pissed! Seriously. And whats it to make friends with a xiao mei mei whom you don't even know when you're already like 20 or 30yrs older than me? What common topic do you expect we'll have???!! And whats the meaning of chatting with me when i don't even know you and you haven't make a self-introduction? I'll much prefer polite and caring people who follows the rules. Okay, i'm ranting because i'm a cold person. I'm not friendly, is that what you all think? Its my problem alright. Not their fault. Zzzzz. Whatever, i can't be bothered. Not in a good mood today!

Oh well. I know i'll regret writing the above. Whatever!

See! I already regret what i wrote above. I'm not in the right state of mind when writing that, and i blabbered shit.

Oh! I saw Vy's wedding pictures and videos yesterday! So prettyyyy and so sweetttt. They always say a woman looks the prettiest on the day of her wedding, so true. My colleagues keep speaking in vietnamese and sometimes i just heard my name in between, i keep wondering what they were talking about and its so frustrating not knowing. But i guess its okay, since it keeps me out of office politics as well.

My consultant, Mr Eddie was telling me yesterday about some stuffs relating to someone. Lol. Its better to be defeated than to have never try at all. I've already heard this so many times. But, i'm a coward, i didn't want to fight a battle i have no confidence of winning and then ending up have to sacrifice more than i can afford to lose. So the end decision is: I'm not gonna fight.

Good news is that i've seen maggie darling and my family on webcam yesterday! Seeing my parents' becoming more at ease after seeing that i'm fine and lessen their worries really makes me feel glad. And i finally heard maggie's voice. Hahaha. I wanted to see Li Eng! But she's always not online. I won't ever forget the time when she called me and comfort me just when i'm going through my hardest phase in Vietnam. I miss her. And so sorry, her phone bill must have cost a bomb. Haha

I wish Ming Hui is feeling better. Cause i had so much things to tell her yesterday, but i can see that she doesn't have the mood. We are going through the same thing, just somewhat different. We should take care of each other right? LOL.

Take care my papa; mama; meimei and friends.

loves;
10:41 AM;

HEY PEOPLE, I'VE GOT NEWS TO SHARE!!

Its not a really very "bomb" kind of news la, just that i'm so excited i can't hold in my excitement! Hahaha. I finally bought a webcam yesterday! I'm soooo satisfied with it, the view is clear, its so convenient as its a usb type with no drivers needed and it only cost me $26! Its so so so cool.... Webcam with ming hui yesterday. I didn't know that the mic work and i was so surprised when Ming Hui said she could hear me. And we chatted online! Omg, it was such a long time ago since i heard her voice. Webcam does wonders man! Saw Ying Ting and Fong Zun yesterday too! I'm going to see Maggie darling tonight if possible, hope my webcam still works. Oh ya, not forgetting my family!!

Was just thinking... Because my patience is super limited, and i'm so lazy to wait for those dramas to load and load and load. I planned to just buy every movie i want to watch! Its only $1 per dvd anyway, why not right? And i wanted to go suana again! Face massage, maybe spa too. I know i know, with my pathetic salary, i really shouldn't spend so much money. But its not everytime that i had a chance to live in Ho Chi Minh right? I should just enjoy myself and make my life better for myself to comfort my lonely soul. LOL. But so what, without friends, no matter what, it still feels empty.

Anyway, trying to keep updated with singapore news. I went to yahoo sg everyday! And saw one news which really makes me happy. Fann Wong and Christopher is getting married!! So happy for them. Yes, i'm a fan of both of them. Beautiful woman and handsome guy! Their baby would be the prettiest/handsome asian baby in the world.

May god bless them! :)

loves;
10:38 AM;

As i mentioned, was working yesterday. And i feel so super tired that i didn't blog. Haha. Went to lottemart for lunch with Loan and Tu. Oh man, there were so many koreans there! I didn't know koreans would flood vietnam even. I did a stupid thing yesterday. Was trying on the nail polish from the face shop, i tried the ugliest colour: dark blue. I figure there would be a remover for me after i tried, in the end, i had to go home with the ugly colour on my nails. But strange, the more i look at it, the more special and unique it seems to me. Haha, maybe this is call inner beauty. Just like most guys look at girls, they never did find the beauty inside the girl until they knew the girl longer. How pro am i, can even relate my nail polish to this kind of logic. Hahaha.

Had a bad day yesterday! A day filled with muscleache and headache. Where did the muscleache come from you may wonder. I didn't do much exercise here. So it must have come from the massage! The woman serving me really exerts way too much strength on my poor shoulder.
I'm eating alot of eggs nowadays, far more than those i had in singapore. I hope i'm still healthy, cause my immune system has weaken since i came to vietnam. And sleeping becomes my best medicine. Saves money and energy. Lol.

Thanks to Eddie, he sort of enlightened me yesterday. LOL. I was just randomly asking him if i should go back sg for a few days than come back vietnam again. To my surprise, he suggested that i should go because all my other friends discourage me to go back, they said its just a waste of time; energy and money, not that i don't agree. He reminded me to do a timely update once in a while just to keep in touch with my friends. I admit i'm not one who will take the initiative to contact a friend, because i'm just super lazy, and sometimes i can't be bothered even. But he mentioned a phrase that keeps bugging me. "The world went on without elaine". That hurts abit, even though i tried to tell myself it doesn't matter. I don't want to be forgotten! And then i told him that, people will contact me if they want to. Thats what andrew always say anyway. He then told me the way i always told andrew, that i've got to make an effort too. Hais. Friendships were often lost because of lack of communication. I agree with him.

I know clearly who are those that i couldn't lose. But what more can i do when they don't want to do their part as friends? I know nothing will be the same again when i go back. It never will be. See what i sacrifice to come to vietnam? Lol. So silly of me.

loves;
10:22 AM;

Today is sunday! You guys would think its suppose to be a offday for me. But noooo, i had work today. And i only get about 5hrs of sleep! So damn tired can. I was even sleeping during lunch with my colleagues. Had headache and feelin super lethargic.

I'll update tomorrow than, don't even have the energy to type now. lols.

it hurts everytime i see his face

loves;
5:18 PM;

I'm the HAPPIEST girl today!

I always know i'm adventurous enough by just coming to vietnam alone. Haha. And i had alot of my "first" times done here. For example, the first time i had clams, scallop and whatever. Not that i couldn't have that in singapore, just that i don't dare to try back than. Its also the first time that i WANTED to eat raw veggies. First time i wanted to learn to ride a motorcycle. First time i highlight my hair. And today! Today is the first time i ever went for massage and suana! So cool la.

Loan and me sort of sneak out during work to had some vietnamese noodles for breakfast. Out of a sudden, she asked whether i wanted to go for massage! Oh man, the massage was sooooo comfortable, so was the suana. First time going for suana wasn't so big deal. The big deal is its the first time i had to be naked in front of some stranger ( female of course), and have her massage my whole body! She touched every part of me man. The massage was quite painful, she sure is strong for her size. But its still very shiok. Soooo relaxing! Cost me around $13...

After that, went to the salon with Maryanne for hair treatment. Another shiok-ness! This time, i had my head massage. I always had a nice afternoon nap everytime i go to the salon. I want to thanks Maryanne for cooking dinner for me too. Even though its just eggs and sausage, but still, at least she cared for my dinner. Makes me think of my dear mother.

I feel like a happy little girl today. I really want to bring all my friends here and do it together. I'm happy; but it feels so empty inside. Just couldn't be really really really happy.

Just when i had a really good day, and wanted to have a good bath. Guess what i saw?! ANTS! OMG! I practically spray the whole bottle of insecticides in the bathroom. And my body feels like ants are crawling all over. Please ants, just go away and don't come back.

will it be the same again when i go back?

loves;
7:40 PM;

Thanks to Joan, Andrew is fine now. I'm relieved, and really happy to know that. But somehow... Yes, mixed feelings. Ming hui totally understand it. I really wish to be there when something happens instead of letting others do the "job". But i can't be so selfish right? He's not mine after all. lol. I always wonder why the hell do i care so much. Sadly, i don't get the answer. They say past life regression can help me understand why i do certain things, or care for a certain person in this life. I'm really considering that option when i go back to singapore. Maybe through that, i can learn how to let go. But its so damn expensive!

Isn't it funny? Humans, regardless of their age; gender; religion and whatever has gone through heartbreak session. I think its already a great blessing when you found mutual love. Thats when the person you love, love you back. Thats call happiness. But don't believe all that happiness says. This phrase is so true; written on someone's msn personal message.

Yesterday, Jun tee was asking me the difference between "than" and "then". Turns out she wanted to correct my grammer. LOL. But was so touched, because she notice such a small detail in my blog.

Trying to pass the time here weeks by weeks, it seems faster this way. Already been here for around 1 month and 1 week. Isn't it fast?! Say yes people! Haha. And i finally downloaded all of BOF ost! Also have Jolin's latest album, much thanks to fz :)

A saturday tomorrow; another boring day. Argh!

I have so much on my mind; i don't know how to express all my feelings out. What to do? I'm so confused.

letting go is a form of love

loves;
12:07 PM;

Today is the first day i ever ate my breakfast in Vietnam. lol. Even i find it surprising, because i had my 3 meals regularly in Singapore. Wonder if i'll be able to slim down here at this rate. Was treated to lunch because Mr Minh's wife just gave birth to a son yesterday! During lunch, he kept on talking about the delivery process, its quite interesting watching his expression even though i don't understand what he's talking about in vietnamese.

Finally i had a chance to say: I had a fruitful day at work today. LOL. I had a chance to mark the PSLE paper here, its quite fun! Maybe i can apply to be a primary school teacher next time because i seriously don't like office job. Was thinking of having a job as a translator too, so interesting.

The DVD in vietnam is so cheap! I bought one yesterday. Race to witch mountain, have been wanting to watch that movie from the time i'm in singapore until now. Guess how much it cost me? ONLY $1! OMG right! Hhaha. Oh yes, i finally bought a thumbdrive here too. And its soooo NOT cheap, cost me $15! And its 1gb only. Being a IT idiot, i don't know how much it cost in singapore either. So people, don't remind me of the price.

Was browsing through friendster profile yesterday, i miss BT so much! I miss working there; the colleagues there. Hais, really wish i can go back to singapore soon. Back to my home. Its the only place i'll ever call home. Even for the villa where i'm living here, i didn't say "go home". Get what i mean?

Sorry guys, have alot of things on my mind today. I'll just stop here than.

Take care my friend.

you are the first person i thought of; no matter what i do.

loves;
4:49 PM;

Because i was so bored at work yesterday (actually its everyday), i went to xiaxue's blog. And i saw the most disgusting video ever! You guys should really go and watch. Its kinda interesting in a way. LOL. Its a video showing kaykay and paul twohill eating... insects? Or rather bugs worse than insects! I almost lost my appetite for lunch! Battle between the sexes huh, also don't need to eat something as disgusting right.

Do you guys realise? Or maybe none of you know. I think that by spending this one month in vietnam, my mindset really has changed. Its for the better i guess. I already know how adventurous i am, but by coming here, it really proves me right. In the past, i won't touch clams, squid and anything i consider disgusting. But now, i find them quite tasty, i'll give anything a try. So proud of myself! The past me, i can be quite heartless. Thats what i'm good at i suppose. But now, its abit harder to be heartless. Just because i didn't want to hurt myself, it doesn't mean i can let others die on their own right? I can't bring myself to do that.

I just realise how selfish i really am by coming to vietnam. Was reading some distant friend's blog the other day. She was talking about how she wanted to go for overseas attachment; and than how she can't be so selfish to just follow her own desire when she had to let her parents worry for the whole 6 months; how she wouldn't want to spend her parent's money because she'll end up spending alot for the attachment. In the end, she didn't go. Makes me realise just how selfish i am. How could i just let my parents worry about me; leave my friends alone when they need me? Yes, i admit i make the wrong choice, and i regret. But its really a good experience, i really learn alot. Maybe thats just a way of comforting myself.

Move on to something happy than...

I GOT MY PAY YESTERDAY! I really must save for the whole april. I still need money to buy soveniers back to singapore. Haha. I just spent $10 on pizza hut yesterday. Please friends, just remind me other than saving money, i badly need to slim down too! I wish my appetite is just like my vietnamese colleagues! They eat so pathetically little! And they dare to say they're full! Omg.. Seriously!

I hope my post isn't too long to bore you all. hahah.

Maybe i should be as heartless towards you, just to save myself.

loves;
9:42 AM;

I notice that whenever my friends had pimple on their face, i always get the pimple in the same spot. Strange; or maybe its just coincidence? But it happen so many times before. Just like loan told me about her pimple last saturday, now i've got one at the same spot!

Finally, i finished BOF already! Should be thinking of my next drama le, maybe ToGetHer? Acted by jiro and rainie, should be quite funny ba, since jiro is so shuai! Hahaha. Any other nice drama to intro?

Anyway, turns out yesterday is public holiday. Why didn't i know? Being a newbie in vietnam, somebody should have told me right? They just assume i know. And my diary didn't record holidays yesterday either. Lucky i called loan before i decide to go work! My eyes is totally bonkus after 2 whole days of the computer screen. Now even working i have to face the computer. I seriously don't like office job much, maybe i'll be a F&B manager in the future.

In singapore, I could go anywhere and do anything i want. Kbox, cinemas, shopping, just hanging out with friends. But in vietnam, i think my greatest hobby here would be to just watch drama and sleep during offdays. How pathetic huh! I miss all my friends, Singapore and my family. (esp my very clean house!)

Oh ya, people! If you have not tried peppermint green tea before, please don't try. lol. I tried it yesterday, taste like detergent. At one moment, i really wonder whether they put in the detergent instead of the green tea! I'm practically dying for their coffee! It taste so heavenly, i haven't figure out why the coffee in vietnam is so much better than the ones in singapore. I think i'm addicted to it now, can't let my days pass by without it.

Hope something exciting happen today, to neutralize the past 2 boring days.

Til then.

i miss you; but you don't

loves;
10:20 AM;

AGAIN!

Its already the second time! This time is worse, i was downstairs waiting... and waiting... and waiting. Finally, i could not stand it and called loan. And then thats when i know today is offday as well. WTH! And i was totally NOT informed can! argh! Couldn't someone have told me that we don't have to go to work today? I was so guai yesterday to sleep early, thinking i have to wake up early today. Hais.

Anyway, was shopping yesterday. I've always wanted to try sitting on a motorbike and go to each shop without walking. Hahaha. Tried that yesterday, can't say i like it. I still prefer the traditional way of shopping by walking down the streets to each shop. How i miss walking! In vietnam, I either sit in the office, sit during lunch, now even shopping, there's not much standing. Went to chinatown yesterday, didn't expect people to realy speak cantonese there, so surprised. Haha, its good for me too, at least i know how to communicate with them. And no, its no fun shopping in vietnam at all, because their size is all catering to their locals. All the clothes so small size, ya la, i admit i'm not slim, but still... At least i bought 1 long shirt, 1 shorts and 1 jacket. The price is not much different from singapore, probably about the same.

My dear loan... She complained of a pimple on her face yesterday (which is super not obvious) and yet, a guy from the noodle shop where we had lunch at (a stranger, yes) went up to her and "da shang". Guess how i know? I listen to their conversation, in vietnamese. Hais, i'm so clever. LOL. But actually i only heard the word telephone in vietnamese, and than maybe some number behind. I'm not so dumb after all.

Being thirsty after all the shopping, i went in to a cafe to buy a drink. I bought iced tea, takeaway. And you know what they got for me? I could never imagine they could be so creative and gave me my iced tea in a way that: its just a normal CANNED ice lemon tea, in a plastic bag, with ice cubes surrounding the can in the plastic bag! Cost me bloody $2!

Now, i should really think about what i'm gonna eat today. Perhaps i could finish off BOF today! YAY.

Do i even have a reason to keep on fighting?

loves;
9:28 AM;

Hmm.. Its really a blessing to sleep in.

Today was nearly the same as yesterday. Lying in bed; thinking of what to do; thinking of what to eat and etc. Just at that moment, dear loan message me and asked whether i want to go.... SHOPPING! hahhaha, how could i reject?! I'm already bored stiff at home, rotting away with those ants. (at least the ants are always moving, i just stay in the same place!) So nice of loan right? And she's not very free you know, she has a boyfriend to entertain too.

Yesterday was a very "fruitful" day too. Because i watch 7 episodes of BOF(boys over flowers) in a day. lols. Not that its a big accomplishment, but enough to make me think of jan di and gu jun pyo when i woke up this morning. This drama enlighten me this: If he's the one you really love, and you know he loves you too, keep fighting for your happiness!

Hais, jan di is really fortunate! I was so bored yesterday, i keep pestering clara and ask her whether i should go out and eat, even though i already know thats what i gonna do. haha. And because i was so rottingly boredddd, i was standing in front of the mirror and looking at myself. Seriously, i need to buy new clothes, before that need to lose ALOT of fats. ARGH! My thighs is no different from pig's thighs you know. zzz. Oh man, i need some confidence. And there is NOTHING i CANNOT do, when i really am motivated. GANBATTE!

Got a pleasant surprise yesterday, not excactly a surprise la, a compliment rather. My cousin said my blog is nice to read!! Yes, I'm happy. I didn't know he would read my blog too. Thank you thank you. Your words put a smile on my face :) - i nearly fly to the moon. LOL

Oh ya, remember i bought the baby powder to repel ants? I tried it on the ants in the kitchen, the ants really DON'T cross the path where the powder is. Wonderful! Hence, i tried it in my room. Who knows, there's no use! Wasted my money. Should have just buy a dozen boxes of insecticides instead. Recently, i keep having a itchy feeling over my skin, feeling like ants are crawling over me. Maybe i killed too many of them, and they wanted revenge. I'm sorry ants, i didn't want to kill you either, BUT you leave me with no choice. Please, don't come looking for me again, and don't even let me find you in my room!

loves;
10:59 AM;

OH MANNNN!

Just when I get up early today, just when i'm all ready and was just stepping out of my room door, i saw a note outside my door which states: "Its offday tomorrow, don't have to go to work.". Tomorrow? That means the note was yesterday's, why didn't Stephen just tell me straight to my face?! I could have slept in then. Hais. Oh well, it saves my taxi fare for me, might as well.

Went to have seafood yesterday. Snails, clams and etc. Oh, and i tried their local egg here. You know the egg is already going to hatch, which means its mixed with duck meat and their super fragile bones with the egg. But its not yet hatched, just going to. Omg, i think its quite cruel don't you think? I mean, its already a life! I tried only one bite though, just because my colleague asked me to try. Not that i'm starting the whole brother and sister thing (My class would know what that means i think), but its abit gross to me. The even worse thing is, I don't need to pay because i only ate so little. zzz. So paiseh, everytime also like that.

Talking about money, reminds me of my xe om. Xe om means motor taxi driver in vietnam. I'm so apologetic because i always stand him up, and he's sooooooo nice! A very honest, kind and caring xe om. Just like a grandfather! Yesterday, i asked my colleague to help convey to him that i won't be taking his ride today. I tried to contact him by phone, but to no avail. Turns out that he drop his handphone. Loan said my xe om was nearly on the verge of crying already, because they are often very poor and their phone is consider part of their business. But when he saw me, he gave me that radiant smile he always had on. It makes me feel so sad. I understand how it feels like to lose something you can't afford to lose. I know.. I wanted to get a handphone for him, but with my current financial status, i have difficulty eating off myself even.

Hais. I wish i can help everybody, but fact is i don't have the ability to help even the xe om. And was thinking of helping andrew?! I overestimate myself.

I would do anything i can to help you, you know that.

So now i have the whole two FREE days in the villa, any idea how to pass the time?
Should have gone with marianne to the resort. AAAHHHH!

loves;
10:08 AM;

Many thanks to loan!

My first day of work, she was the one who invited me to lunch with the rest of the colleagues. And yesterday, we went to a jap restaurant for jap cuisines! (even though sg's jap food is really alot nicer) After which, we went around the city in the motorbike. So coolllll can! hahha, she offer to let her bf teach me how to ride a motorbike if i want to.

Even though she may not know, but she did make my life less lonely. Thats why i say vietnam is full of nice people! haha. And vietnamese woman are all so pretty, now i know why they are so popular in singapore. LOL.

Searched on the internet yesterday, on various natural ways to kill and prevent ants. Turns out that baby powder is effective! (it says so on the web anyway) Therefore, i'll buy a whole bottle of baby powder today and spread it all around my room! I decided that I don't want to be suffocated by insecticides after all. I really hope it works.

I have been eating my brunch at 1pm! Every morning's so dreadful, coz i'm always hungry. And i didn't slim down one bit! Hais. Saw so many shops selling nice clothings yesterday, motivates me to slim down, buy new clothes! :)

Chatted to andrew today, he's still not any better. And i don't feel any better either. What more can I say? There's nothing i can do to help. And yes, i'm controlling my tears. DAMN this feeling of helplessness. Once gone, it'll never come back. Why do i thought of this suddenly?

How can i feel happy when you're not happy?
How can i don't care just simply you asked me not to?

p.s I didn't know about this before.
http://www.elaine.com/
interesting right? I own a construction company! LOL. just joking ya, don't call them and say you know their boss. HAHAHA.

loves;
10:12 AM;

I didn't know how much webcam can do wonders, until yesterday. I thought chatting everyday on msn is quite enough for me. But NO, i was so happy to see ming hui on webcam yesterday i nearly cried. I've never seen her for like one month, and all my other friends too! It makes me so tempted to get a webcam too, since mine is spoiled like ages ago.

Chatted to kai fong yesterday too. He's been there for only 2 days. Hais, i understand how he feels. I've been through all that. The way he wanted to go back to singapore in Aug instead of Oct. I had that thought before too. But i figure it would be too troublesome for me, and going back earlier means another ITP, which means another round of adaptation. I have no more energy for that. Anyway, vietnam is fine for me now. All EXCEPT for the ANTS which have been infesting the villa. i saw another smaller army of them outside my door today. WTH! I really hope they won't go inside my room. I'll rather suffocate to death by insecticides than being alive with a bunch of disgusting insects!

And yes, I'm going to rant all my dissatisfactionS here! So stay away if you don't want to be irritated by me.

Clara, if you see this, I don't know what happen really. Are you getting tired of me? Or is it because you are tired? I hope its the latter reason. Because i wanted our friendship to stay the same as before when i go back. I hope we still can chat about everything under the sun. You are one special friend.

And Andrew, i know he won't see this. But still, I wish God will bless him wherever he is. He said some things are unspoken, but kept in the heart. I remember.

To all my other friends: You don't know how each one of you is so special to me. I love you.

Now my poor nose is torturing me! zzz

loves;
11:14 AM;

Early in the morning, and i'm woken up by the sound of crickets! Omg, imagine how paranoid i am about insects right now. I have nightmares about them even.

Had a sentimental side to me today. You see, i passed by a high school everyday on my way to work. But its only today that i thought back to JVS, the days i spent there, the classes i had there, the teachers who used to tell us stories, and mostly the friends i made in there. Strange to say that i miss all of that. (not when my group of friends were the target of bullies!) But its still fun! We did so many crazy things together, that i could never forget. It makes me so sad to feel so distant from some friends back in JVS. Or maybe i have stronger feelings because i'm in vietnam right now, and feeling lonely. lol.

Oh well, enough of that.

I really love my colleagues in vietnam though. They're sooooo funny! Even though they teach me alot of bad stuffs! tsk tsk. hahah. But they're great. I'll miss the way they sing in the office when i go back to Singapore. lol.

please let my throat recover.

and please bless him, wherever he is.

loves;
10:11 AM;