Loving you is my favourite mistake;

June 30, 2009

You Are Observant in Life
You are serious and stable. You are a bit of a perfectionist, and you like structure.You are the happiest when you are planning and dreaming. You like to live in the future.You are sensitive and considerate. You are always putting other people's needs before your own.You have found what you want in life and are quite content. You know a lot about yourself.
--------------------------------------------------------

just a boring quiz result i got. and it comes from how i took my clothings off. LOL.

Tu and Stephen treated me to a Singapore restaurant yesterday. the food was just okay, but its their heart and initiative that touches me. My vietnam colleagues really look out for me and all, and i appreciate that.

please give me the courage and strength to face all that has happened. where is the strong elaine i've always known?

loves;
11:11 AM;

June 29, 2009

The world is laughing at my level of stupidity now, cause i know i sure am laughing at myself. I still find it hard to believe what actually happen. and people who knows me, know i am not the type of person who keeps everything to myself. I'm the one who needs to talk whenever i feel insecure. and yes, i told about that "adventure" to the whole world - almost.

and through this, i found out friends who truly care; friends who just listen; friends who get angry because of what that damn guy did. In short, i just found out who's the one who really care. I know who's the one who will stand by me during hard times other than my family. There are friends who will be there for you in times of fun, but not in hard times. and yes, to really affirm my statement. guys reallyyyyyy cannot be trusted. i just found out that i had develop a strong dislike for guys now, not when they are my friend and family members of course, but for strangers. it even irks me to look at guys now. yes, its that serious. i think being a lesbian is so much more better, i feel much secure.

Jun Tee was telling me yesterday, asking me to wake up already. And Ming Hui too, i love her so much. the way she care is so unique, just like a sister instead of a friend. oh! and Ms Marianne, my housemate here. she even treat me to dinner for two consecutive nights in RESTAURANT okay, super not cheap!

and sometimes, i realise you can't blabber too much because they just aren't interested. yea, you just have to accept that.

this is indeed a learning experience. bullshit. how i wish i can scold him ~~F u~~.

loves;
10:47 AM;

June 28, 2009

ELAINE IS DEPRESSED.

some unexpected events occur today.
whereby, she lost her money; her heart; and her mood.

she needs to talk so badly she resorted to Mr B, who didn't reply her at all. so there. its the end.

call her the naive; gullible; stupid; kind and anything associated with stupid.

i don't understand why its getting so much more difficult for me to say the big N-O word nowadays.

still that same old phrase. guys definately cannot be trusted!

loves;
12:10 AM;

June 27, 2009

keyword for this week: CONTROL!

i'm practically crying over how penniless i am right now. and yet, i still draw a big $50 from the atm yesterday. die le la. but it was well spent or so i thought. cause the money was spent for my girlfriends okay, their soveniers actually. i thought the accessory was very unique and multi purpose. HAHAH. so i bought a total of 12 of them! officially bankrupt now.

i still have to buy:
1. presents for family
2. soveniers for guys? (thats the troublesome part, i don't know what i can get them)

oh, did i mention the soveniers for guys include this person call Jun Tee? HAHAH. from the way i knew her, she definately won't wear my accessory. thats why!

3. more shopping for myself! (shoes, shorts, tee shirt, bag, wallet.....)

and because they sell ALOT of imitations here. i'm really worried i'll kena rob when i go back, people may think i'm rich. omg.

i went to shopping at Ben Thanh Market with Loan yesterday. bought 2 earrings (i'm not really sure if my earhole is still open though), the very multi purpose accessoriesssss. but thats not the highlight.

the highlight is......
i actually ate pig blood yesterday! i still feel so sinful, its like drinking the poor pig's blood even after it died, and worse is its in a very tofu kind of shape and its bloodish in colour!
HOW WAS I SUPPOSE TO KNOW THATS PIG BLOOD!??! OMG.
i was eating the noodles with that halfway when i realised the thing looks familiar. and then i remember my mum said that was pig's blood the last time she ate it. and she still dare to tell me it was NICE!

i'm sorry pig. i will pray for u. rest in peace.
i so want to eat back vegetarian again because of that pig blood yesterday. zzz.

i promise to finish my damn report by today!

loves;
10:22 AM;

June 26, 2009

just got to know a shocking news this morning!

Michael Jackson has died.

Even though i'm not his fan, and its none of my business whether he's dead or not. no offence, so please don't shoot me. but the news is kinda shocking, it didn't even publish that he's sick in the first place. His death reminds me of my high school days whereby we sang his song titled "lonely" (i think) during secondary 2. He had a great voice, no doubt about that and brilliant dance moves. haha.

RIP
-----------------------------------------------------

Twinny was asking me about the bread in breadtalk yesterday. LOL. i miss breadtalk so much can, or rather the people working there. i hope my salary hasn't gone back to the normal ones. if they do, i'll have to consider changing a environment. hahaha. but i really like F&B jobs though, for part time i mean.

was watching sue son on youtube yesterday. oh man..... i totally love her confidence when she's playing with her electric violin! she's my new role model now. hahah. of course, people would say its not right to sacrifice friendship for success, but that would be dumb, especially when the chance is already right in front of you. its not as if she backstab her friend or something, she was just a lucky girl who's given another chance. AND she's god so talented can. you won't want to have any regrets and keep thinking about what you would have become if you took this chance right? i mean, even if she didn't win in the end, at least she tried and have no regrets. thats my philosophy for life too.

ANYWAY.

i was super happy when i saw eclipse mint on sale in the supermarket. the price was almost the same as those in singapore. so i happily bought it. lols. and then, a few days back, i saw RUFFLES! selling in one of the marts in an office building. guess how much they sell it for? if i'm not wrong, its selling at $3.80 in singapore right? the ruffles here were on sale for a freaking $5.20! so omg!

1 hour more to lunch! zzz.

i just love everything in my life to be perfect

loves;
11:17 AM;

June 25, 2009

was chatting with dear JUNTEE yesterday. hahha. and so i found out that i had always mistaken the restaurant that she work for until yesterday. and i was like =.= de can. anyway, i asked her where she's working. TO MY VERY DISAPPOINTMENT, i didn't where the shopping mall is located, and its a very familiar shopping mall to me. I've only been gone for 4 months, and i become like that already. omg..... die le la.

to my dear juntee: - please stop refering me as vietnam pig in your blog. LOL.
- please remind me to go to the yoosu cafe before i go back.

oh well, now my report has become 2 pages long, and its much more narrative than all the previous ones. i admit i didn't wana put in effort for this one because i'm so tired of it. when i put in effort, the results never ever meet my expectations. so now i just play it cool, i don't care about the results anymore, just get it over with. i just hope i can pass. the thing is i didn't know how to analyse for goodness sake. zzz.

Tu mentioned that she wanted to bring me out tonight for vietnamese cuisines with her friends since i'm going back soon. so nice of her right? hahaha. but i still miss my chinese food, especially my mum's cooking!

i found my new lover named: Sleep
i've been dying to be with this new lover every night and day.
but i hope i can ditch him when i return to singapore. LOL.
its crap, i'm just so bored now i'm blabbering rubbish.

i super hate this no life routine.

loves;
11:14 AM;

June 24, 2009

everything will change; because life never is stagnant.
so will relationships of any kind.
people come and go in your life, but who really stays, are they those who will stand by you no matter what?

so what if you're best friends before, this could change, just like anything else.
its the cruel reality of life.

just had this sudden thought before i go to my lalaland.

nights!

loves;
11:23 PM;

i feel so guilty!

i did something bad yesterday. LOL. something which i never would have done back in singapore because i was so rigid and inflexible in the past. have grown more rebellious since i've came to vietnam compared to the me in singapore. oh ya, not to mention alot more home-loving! hahaha.

anyway.....
Loan was asking me whether i wanted to go for massage. and i thought she was implying to the time after work. who knows, after lunch, she asked me whether i'm ready to go. i was like now? and oh well, u know my answer. HAHAH. we sneakily went to massage and after that back home, which was way early compared to the usual time i off work. omg de can! but i promise myself its the first and last time! Loan was also feeling bad because she say i shouldn't do that when i go back to singapore. she's so funny and i love her. hahaha.
to my very horror! my supervisor was in the villa just when i go back! OMG! i tried to creep up to my room quietly, hoping he won't notice me. zzz. my day was full of adventure yesterday. LOL. nearly had a heart attack.

was wondering where the hell was twinny's blog. did she delete it again? hais. cause i thought her blog was a teeny bit entertaining for me. hahha.

i'm so bored nowadays i just feel like sleeping whenever i get back to my room after work. its very no life i know, hopefully it will change when i return to singapore. i'm so looking forward to meeting all my friends! but somehow, the more you're looking forward to something, the time seems to pass just as slowly as well.

OHH! congrats me people. i'm so excited because i finally wrote 2 paragraphs of my report yesterday! at least i started right, its better than nothing at all. and its due next week!

will get back to surfing my web now.
byeeee peeps.

~~somehow, i would still wish to hear your voice on the other end whenever my phone rings.~~

loves;
11:33 AM;

June 23, 2009

I'VE ALREADY BOOKED MY AIR TICKET!
Cost me $99! now i'm really penniless...........
anyway, its on the 13th of August and my family is picking me up! even my dear sister wanna skips her remedial. LOL. i know i'm loved. hahha.

was talking on the phone with my mum yesterday, and she told me to buy alot of things back for her. i had to remind her constantly that my checked in luggage is registered at only 20kg. zzz. and i've yet to buy soveniers and presents. hais, just have to wait for my salary next month.

because my colleague just saw my new hairstyle yesterday. and because of the unbalance cuts of my fringe, he say i look like MONKEY! omg de can! i was giving him that kind of face. and when i go back to the villa, i ask ming hui whether i really look like monkey. LOL. thanks goodness she say no. HAHAHHA. if not, i think i'll shave my hair. just joking! but i'll think of something!

thinking back from the time i just reach vietnam in march, i think time really flies! its already coming july already! thanks god i'm going back in august, at least i can spend my birthday in singapore; celebrate ming hui's birthday, andrew's birthday, maggie's birthday. but too bad not in time for my parent's. i'll surely miss my vietnam colleagues when i go back. i was actually been well taken care of by them because i'm the youngest and all. hahha. they try to look out for me and help me out whenever they can. they always say i'll forget them when i go back, but actually its the other way round i think. lols.

thats all for today.
i'm so hungryyyyyy.

~~why am i still missing you?~~

loves;
9:41 AM;

June 22, 2009

today is 22nd of June! the day whereby Andrew is enlisting! hahah. so excited for him its like i'm enlisting too. LOL. but its so sad though, another friend gone when i get bored.

since i'm like going back real soon, i'm beginning to plan for my return already, trying to keep my mind off reports. but so sad, even though i do not want to think about those freaking reports, i still have to do it.

things to think about:

1. Farewell presents for colleagues
2. soveniers for family and friends
3. purchasing of air ticket (most probably 13th Aug)
4. periodic report and final report + company assessment
5. colour for highlighting my hair

yea, i'm seriously trying not to think about things i shouldn't even think about.
whats over is over, just move on man.....

didn't i mention i went shopping yesterday??
i already tried to curb my very hyper shopping spirit since i'm low on cash. lols.
and so.....
i bought:

- 1 high heel shoe (around $28)
- 1 concealer combined with the highlighter (around $33) and i got ALOT of samples from the shop! the brand is from france, totally natural products they say.

the high heel shoe was so comfortably tall that i feel TALL when i'm wearing it. even the perspective of where i'm standing look different! hahaha. i so love being tall can!

i have been having pasta for dinner for the past 2 days. i think i'm so in love with it, cause it reminds me of PastaMania! my mushroom pasta! hais.

have not seen ming hui online for some days already, i miss her........

til then.

~~if possible, can i erase you from my memory?~~

loves;
10:56 AM;

June 21, 2009

there is this story that a friend of mine share with me:

she was a very trusting girl even though she had several heartbreaks. she's not all that strong even when she puts up a strong pretense most of the time to hide her weakness. just like any other girl, she too yearns for a guy who will love and care for her.

at her loneliest moment, she found a guy who she thought will stand by her. but she was afraid because she couldn't afford another heartbreak, and so she promise herself that she would never fall in love again if this guy fail her. she thought her heart would be treated with care, and she put her whole heart into it despite several warnings from her friends.

at last, the guy broke her heart and leave her numb. again, she have to put up that strong pretense pretending she's okay. but i know, her heart will never heal again. i feel sorry for her, if only she had listen to the warnings and not her heart, maybe her heart will have a chance to heal one day.

whats done is done, we cannot turn back time.

that is the story she share with me. she couldn't really trust any guys again after that. but she look so happy i feel sad for her, because i know she has been holding her tears for a long time. at this time, all she need is a listener to listen to her and lend her a shoulder to lean on.

in conclusion, i still believe in my philosophy: guys cannot be trusted (my father's an exception). hahha.

OKAY END OF STORY
---------------------------------------------------------

now back to myself. lols. please don't ask me who the girl is, i promise not to reveal her name. not as if you all know her anyway. haha.

i was thinking about what would happen when i go back to singapore. friendships and etc. i know i've change in some way, therefore everything would be different when i go back because of the change in my attitude and the way i handle stuffs. BUT, the most important factor is, friends who has make new BF may not have time for me! how sad. but its okay, i'm gonna drag them all out and go to my favourite hangout: KBOX!

today is father's day! and later i'm going shopping! seriously, i really must save money le, have a feeling my bank account is quite empty. i hate this penniless feeling.

oh ya, and i've yet to do my report which i plan to do today, i'll postpone to next sunday then. hahaha. so excited when i think about my P3, and so touched Jun Tee wrote a whole long post about me in her blog. ya la, feel honoured can. LOL. she should be touched i write her name here also.

have been thinking about my friendship with Clara... it hasn't been a easy one, with lots of fights and makeups in between. i love her so much because she's always there for me. thank you my dear. and ming hui, i think we had a special kind of friendship which i can't define in words because its splendid.

anyhow........ i miss ALL of my friends. primary school friends; secondary school friends, poly school mates; breadtalk mates; and my vietnam colleagues.

til then.

~~i wish her heart would heal soon; its been too hard on her all this while.~~

loves;
11:16 AM;

June 20, 2009

I FINALLY CUT MY HAIR YESTERDAY, with lots of layers and a short fringe. omg can! i love my new hair and it only cost me around $6 with washing and temporary straightening. cheap right! wahahah. i'll be highlighting my hair there again, since i so love that salon. and the guy cutting my hair is handsome can. bleah.

tomorrow is FATHER'S DAY! and i don't know what my sister is gonna get for my dear father. hais. too bad i'm not in singapore. and in order to celebrate father's day tomorrow, i've decided to go on a shopping date with my flatmate. LOL. i know its quite no link. but anyway, i don't know why, i just shop and shop and shop as if i have alot of money, because vietnam is real boring. anyway, i still have around 1 month more to go.

i've yet to buy soveniers. there's nothing in vietnam, thats why i seriously have no idea what to buy. how how how? and i don't think my friends want keychains either. hais.

and my poor thumbdrive which i bought in vietnam for 150000 VND is SPOILED! wth! laoya de lor. so angry. my BOF ost is all inside. HAIS. sadddddddd laaaaa. still thinking whether i should buy a new one. maybe i'll buy in singapore instead. anyway, i bought 2 DVD for around $3 today: the slumdog millionaire (yea, i haven't watch yet) and PUSH. :)

and the internet here is damn laoya, or is it my laptop problem? my email is taking forever to load. i know vietnam favors YAHOO but still.... i need to check my mails. zzz.

til then.

loves;
3:04 PM;

June 19, 2009

i'm so going to change my blogskin again, but i get lazy everytime. hais. okay, maybe i'll search for one tonight. hahha.

i'm eating alot recently, probably because i'm so happy i'm going back to dear singapore in AUGUST! YEAAA, ITS AUGUST! WAHHAHA. and lucky i asked my teacher, if not i'll still be stuck in vietnam until october! even though i have to do another 2 months attachment when i go back, but anyhow, its worth it. hahha. i miss the bus and the mrt, my lovely bedroom with no aircon unfortunately, and my lovely vivocity and jurong point! and and all my very lovely friends! i'm gonna go back to school to collect my new ezlink card, and buy my long awaited Samsung P3 MP3!! so excited can....

i realised all my friends already started to go clubbing, only i so noob never even go before. but its okay, i'll just look forward to clubbing with the animals at night safari with twinny. LOL.

oh, i'm cutting my hair today! i really hope it turns out nice, coz if it don't, i'm gonna kill myself. just kidding. hahaha. maybe i'll rebond my hair here if its not really nice. and even highlight again. lalala~ but too bad, i'm really running low on money now, almost penniless. sad. and the studious me even bought 1 storybook for $10 yesterday when i'm practically penniless. HAIS.

counting down: 8 weeks. it seems so damn long now. so looking forward to 14th august!

loves;
9:57 AM;

June 17, 2009

went to MANGO yesterday! but turn out that i only bought one very normal shirt.... sadded, because normally promotions only attract you to their shop and see their ugly promotion items when in fact SOME of the nicer clothes are not on promotion at all. zzz.

oh well, at least i had korean cuisines which kept me real full and a pudding afterwards. hahaha. yea, i eat alot yesterday. and i'm fat again, after the tedious 3 months which i think i manage to slim down 0.5kg. LOL. all wasted.

i'll upload my pictures up to facebook today hopefully. i just hope i don't sleep as soon as i get back, because i'm real tired. i really think i kena the excessive sleeping disorder.

i don't have motivation for this internship anymore. no motivation for reports; work and i just want the 3 months to flyyyy so i can faster go back. plsplspls. i don't even care for the university already. damn the reports man.....

i hope gorilla is online tonight, so i can play game. HAHAH.

loves;
9:57 AM;

June 16, 2009

HELLO PEOPLE!!

i have gotten my DAI NAM PICTURES! will be uploading to facebook real soon, maybe tomorrow. hahah. because i so feel like going shopping today........ yea, to MANGO again, since Loan say there is a 50% discount now. wahahah! i hope she don't postpone again. lols.

and here i am, super hungry and sitting in front of my desk, with 2hrs more to lunch. hais. and i have a feeling like i'll be scolded by somebody and cry because of that, lets see if i really have physic power. LOL. my shoulder has been aching for 2 days since i came back from DAI NAM. i wonder if its the problem with my sleeping position or.... u know paranormal stuffs. zzz.

surprisingly, i found my favourite mint "eclipse" winterfrost when i went to the supermarket the day before. so happyyyy can. oh ya, and twinny mention about the hip hop dance... LOL. she better wait for me. HAHAHA.

til then. i love my pictures.
but so sad, my colleagues say i looked pregnant today. wth!

loves;
11:16 AM;

June 14, 2009

i was like sleeping away the whole day on saturday. yes, i really sleep the whole day other than working in the morning, eating lunch and dinner and blablabla. how great right? but thats also the day i give up on that B! B is for Bastard! yeaaaaaaa. wtf.

ANYWAY..........

today is sunday!! and guess what? i went to DAI NAM HISTORY PARK! i went with Man and her family. even though the weather is literally torturing me, u know its so indescribably HOT ! and in order to go there, i had to ride on the motorbike like around 3hrs to and fro. when i got there, my butt is already numb like hell. lucky Man lend me her sunglasses and jacket to cover my leg. hahah. she's soooo nice can. okok, we went to the zoo where i saw animals. duh. and took alot of pictures! then, we went to the theme park, the temple and the..... 18th levels of hell. i always wonder why they would have this kinda attractions, not as if any living person has seen the real 18th levels of hell anyway. i spent 20000 VND ($1.50 around that price) just to go in and scare myself, cause the sound and the dark tunnel already spoil my bravery. LOL. in the past, i would be the first to chiong down and scold all of my friends scaredy cats, now..... i'm the first one to butt out of that place. hahha. took some pictures which will be uploaded in facebook once i got it from Man!

i'm so tired now, will sleep early today.
REMINDER: MENTALLY HEALTHY LIFESTYLE!!
oh ya, i deleted that B for B******, i'm not a toy, so stop toying with me. zzz.

feel so funny after reading my twinny's blog. we are really twinnies! LOL.

loves;
7:48 PM;

June 12, 2009

i'm done emoing and i think my twinny should too. hahha. i'm gonna stick to her like chewing gum when i go back sg, since we're both lonely souls. LOL. i think i'm lonelier. zzz.

another 2 more weeks before the submission of my report.... AGAIN! yea, again. hais. i still have like 1 more final report. i have no more energy to do reports already like seriously. and its like 40% of my total grade! shouldn't have put in so much effort in my interim report, waste my energy. the marks isn't gonna increase by much anyway. i give up le. i'll just work and study part time if my grades cmi for local uni. HAIS. i spent my whole life working, dammit.

i realise Xiaxue wrote one post just recently which i reallyyyyy like, the one on i hate insects. LOL. but ants are the 1st on my list though. did i mention i saw a bat on the doorstep last time? its quite cute actually, furry and black, the wings look like ash though. hahah. so cute!

i miss singaporeeeee la. i wanted to go to the ION in Orchard, i wonder if its done renovating already. and dear engeng told me something yesterday, hahahah. its very funny. i want to ask her something today also. hope she'll be online.

And where's ming hui? didn't saw her for like so longggggg.

counting down: 3 months and 2 weeks!

life is boring here.
people to meet up when i go back sg: Gorilla, ENGENG, twinny, kingkong, fz, minghuiiii, Maggie, JUNTEE, xueshan and zel and MAYBE yonghong and jacob for my kbox trip. LOL. and hopefully rebecca they all... eyer, so little only. i have like so little friends. zzz. i wanted to meet friends in secondary and primary schools, who i haven't contact for like damn long. and friends i made in breadtalk. HAHHAHA.

loves;
11:06 AM;

June 11, 2009

i hate to wait.
i hate having nothing to do.
i hate waiting for time to pass.
and i hate myself like totally.

HAIS.

i feel like i can keep my feelings only to myself. and i feel damn suffocated, out of breath.

-dead

loves;
5:46 PM;

June 10, 2009

I WANA CUT MY DAMN HAIR!
was thinking of changing another style, i'm like so bored with my current boring style already, not like anybody would give me attention if i cut it. hahha. just for my own viewing purpose. and i'm planning to re-highlight. wahahha. but.... i duno if i can trust the salons here. zzz. esp in cutting.

thinking back, i remember my mum always tell me not to trust anybody even if they are your best friends. she say even best friends could cheat you and your feelings. i think her best friend stole her ex lover. LOL. but i really hope that won't happen to me. i already don't trust guys now. if my best friend did something like that, i won't even trust anybody. oh well, i'll still trust Mr Gorilla of course. hahaha. i think he won't cheat me the way others will. and my family. so Mr Gorilla if you see this, you should be like damn honoured can. hahaha. was hoping to chat more with him since he's enlisting soonnnnnn. i'll miss him really.

don't know why, i feel like calling my friends and have a real chat with them. these few days, i've been soooo... zzz. hais. engeng can i call you? and twinny can you be online? and my kingkong play with me? LOL. i'm a little crazy these days.

still, i wanna thanks my tagged "jiejie" for being there to listen whenever i need a listener. and eddie for crapping with me when i'm bored.

i need a break from worldly desires. being a nun is so much better. HAIS.

loves;
11:33 AM;

June 9, 2009

i think i should give up, its like holding on to something so unreal.
or maybe its just because i'm lonely and i tend to think too much during this vulnerable period for me.

really glad to have a great chat with Mr Andrew these past two days. hahah. it seems so long since we last chat like that. i miss him man, and all my other friends. i hope they miss me too.

and i don't like people to disappear out of thin air, is it so hard to say a goodbye?

loves;
8:50 PM;

June 8, 2009

i really wish i won't get betrayed just when i put all my stakes in.

at least let me feel its true one time, its enough.

i should really learn to relax and have fun; whats the point of being too serious?

loves;
12:57 PM;

i was damn sick yesterday. the 4th time i'm sick in these 3 months! just like the previous times, its headache; stomachache; muscle ache and blablabla. was sleeping at 8pm yesterday when my parents called at around 10pm. i was abit rude because i really feel bad, aching all over and having chills. so sorry. i knew my sister wanted to ask me something. but the phone makes me shout because they couldn't really hear me, and she's mistaken that i didn't wanted to talk to her, what crap!

anyway, i had a real weird dream yesterday. a dream about singaporeans' graciousness. LOL. i dreamt of myself going to buy grapes which cost around $8 for just 8 grapes. zzz. and then i was shouting like crazy and the rest i don't really remember. hahah.

i asked my dear clara to help me do something today. waiting patiently for her reply. LOL. its so fun. reminds me of the time with rengle.

~~its a different kind of love.~~

loves;
12:11 PM;

June 7, 2009

i'm happy. i should be happy right? thats what ming hui ask me yesterday anyway.
i think i am happy. just with a little feelings of insecurity and somewhat afraid.
but anywayyyyy.

its a new beginning. and i hope to be back in singapore, if the ending is nearing.

i'm so jealous of eddie, still have mum to "dabao" breakfast for him. now i want also cannot.
i thought i love my independence in the past, now i'm not so sure.
i prefer dependence.

loves;
11:35 AM;

June 6, 2009

i'm not happy.
i'm angry.
i'm emo.
zzz.

Is my expectations too high? its the basic that i think should be present.
oh well. i really hope history won't repeat itself.
i thought i've already recovered. who knows. maybe i'm just not suitable for that thing call "love".

i was stupid in the past; and i didn't grow any cleverer in these past few years.
now, i'm even stupid-er because i let myself fall into what seems like a never ending hole.

YES, I'M EMO TODAY, SO IGNORE MY POST.
zzz.

loves;
7:01 PM;

please please please ignore ALL my previous post. its bullshit and totally nothing meaningful.

i officially announced that Ms PeiRu has upgrade to my new twinnie ! LOL.

i didn't know what to write today...... because i have too much on my mind.

i really wanted to complain about my LO here. but wth. i'm a kind person, i won't talk bad.

AHHHH, I'M LIKE SO STRESSED UP NOW.

loves;
1:20 AM;

June 4, 2009

no thanks to my friends, i'm gonna change my blogskin again! because its so laoya, where also cannot seems to load. hahha. i'm like so bored already, i just want a simple skin though.

someday, i'll write a story of a girl who pursues unrequited love. true love story, how nice.... hahah. and i decided already, B is definately OUT of the story. i think it so thoroughly, i still and will love A. it doesn't matter even if it has no happy ending. And it doesn't mean i won't like other guys. But B is really out. i'm not going to be another toy, neither am i going to trust online guys ever.

i had a really great time chatting with my darling Eng eng yesterday.... hahha. miss her so so so much, i miss the time i tell her my love troubles and etc. and she would always teach me some techniques. LOL. but sadly, i can't seem to learn it. bleah. i have no experience either. its okay now. i decided to stay mad single until i'm 99 (if i can live that long). hahha.

recently, i got to know a online "jiejie" who's really nice. he really provides good love advice and blablabla. and his thinking is sort of like mine. don't know whether is it i'm too man or he's too girl. LOL. but he's a nice guy really, rare in this century already.

I'll update tomorrow again, freezing cold now. had been braving the rain for these few months. not surprised if i fall sick anytime this month. hais.

loves;
11:57 AM;

June 3, 2009

something unbelievable happened today. i must be real crazy to let it happen. but heck, like i know what my future would be. oh well, seriously, there's no difference, and it maybe won't last long. i need to have a real good talk with my friends, its been so long since i chatted with them on the phone. I thought i have always loved A, but now turns up a B...... yea, its probably just another phase. i was fcuking scolding myself not to do stupid things today. oh well, how was i to know. yea, it must have been just another phase, it'll be over soon.

BUT I STILL NEED TO TALK !!! i didn't know if i made the right decision either. maybe it'll be over before i even knew it.

i need ming hui now to kick and slap me to my senses. LOL.

at least i have something to be happy about: I GOT MY SALARY ! yea, i know, its just a pathetic $200... but still, its money right. hahha.

~~i'm like real confused right now.~~

loves;
3:13 PM;

June 2, 2009

i need a tight slap; wake me up to my senses. i need to talk to clara and ming hui. i really need to talk to SOMEBODYYYYYY! i think i fell too deep. where are my friends???

reminders:

1. submit reports and company assessment
2. i am so not looking for love (so don't come my way please)
3. promise myself not to do something real stupid
4. keep my cool
5. NO guys can be trusted absolutely
6. i really cannot let myself be cheated by guys! (girls still nevermind)

elaine, please keep in mind you can trust anybody but guys.
yea, i think i had a guy phobia. zzz.

loves;
11:17 PM;

this is the best blogskin that i have come across so far! its simple, elegant and totally my style. best still, it depicts my true feeling. -loves-
and of course, the girl sitting on the swing is not me obviously! lols. i think my picture would ruin the whole elegant-ness of this skin. hahah. with a nice blogskin, i promise i'll be a loyal blogger from now. lols.

anyway, i accompany dear Loan to the hair salon yesterday for her haircut! omg! i'm soooo glad i went! there's sooooo manyyyyy shuai ge in the salon!! one of them looks like jay chou- the coolness, another looks like the BOF guy-cuteness. but most of them are gays, or so they say. too bad. but i really don't think the jay chou look alike is gay though, he's too man for that. HAHHA. i'm thinking of cutting my hair in espirit when i go back to sg, and perhaps rebond and highlight my hair in a cheaper place. lols. its still a long way, i really must save money for that. suggestions?

to my dear ming hui, i think i change my mind again. hahah. remember the part where you printscreen? i decided not to do it. hais. i bet ming hui is now slapping and kicking me again, because i called her dear! LOL. how sad, i always kena abused by her in msn. but seriously, i miss my friends all so much.......

~~i've always been in my small and simple world, its time to look at reality~~

loves;
11:25 AM;

June 1, 2009

wahahha. my new blogskin! isn't it nice???

will update tomorrow!

loves;
10:57 PM;

looking at my periodic report's results, its really demoralising. none of them were more than 80%, which means that i really cannot get an A anymore, which means that my university dream is dashed. even though the deadline for interim report is extended, i still have no motivation to modify it to my perfection. because its no use asking me to analyse! i don't know how! zzz. i'll much rather study in school and face exams than writing reports every month; its making me crazy seriously.

countdown: 4 months to go.... its still long man. i really want to go back because vietnam is really very boring. i hate my working life. at least in sg, i can still call friends and hang out after work or whatever. here, i just spend my time looking at my "son", until i'm tired of it. i'm not gonna touch my "son" when i go back to sg! really!

i hope ming hui remembers our future trip to some restaurant, and she verbally promised kBOX!;
clara remembers our future trip to nyny!;
peiru remembers our date to night safari!;
and what else?

i'm gonna miss alot of birthdays this year! and i'm so not happy.
Wen xue, dad, ming hui, mum, ying ting, jun tee and most importantly, MY BIRTHDAY! oops i forgot to mention national day. hahah. they would be out celebrating happily while i'm stuck here counting the months to go back home. how fun.....

i'm not emo-ing, just so siannnnn.

loves;
10:57 AM;