i'm officially addicted to shopping. just spend another $100+ yesterday on clothes and contact lenses. gonna go shopping again later this week. how nice it would be if only i can have unlimited supply of moneyyyyyy!

argh. i really should curb my spending. okayokayokay. i'll TRY.

i love shoppinggggggg!

:D

loves;
12:48 PM;

HELLLLLLLLL! I'M SO GONNA KILL MYSELF AND EAT GRASS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

okay. was happily shopping at jurong point today and buying a face washing powder from FANCL since my friend said it was good. so i bought that and we went for snacks and chat and so on. then, i decided i wanted to get the serum from skinfood coz the sample i tried last time was good! and i went in the shop and listen to the salesperson talk and talk.

guess what? I SPENT A TOTAL OF $100 IN THERE AND PLUS MY FANCL CLEANSING POWDER, I SPENT A TOTAL OF $125! AAHHHHHHHH.

and i spent it all on my stupid face. great. now i'm really gonna eat grass.

okay okay okay. i must SWEAR i really won't buy any facial products one year from now!

oh man. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

loves;
9:29 PM;

my throat sore until i'm having difficulty breathing even. omg. really bth! has been waking up countless times in the middle of the night due to coughs. since when has my body immunity level become so weak?! damn...

jan is coming to an end again, how fast right? haha, so looking forward to march now. my well deserved holiday!!!!

loves;
10:10 PM;

i'm actually feeling quite terrible. sneezing non stop. throat sore-ed. feeling cold inside but actually skin is hot. giddy spells. and somebody promised that i'll get well today. lets see.

despite of my poor conditions.

i still want to go somewhere! anywhere! i wana walk around the whole singapore, along the singapore river in the night with lots of night lights. walk around orchard and go shopping. have lunch with my ex colleagues. watch movies. do something crazy or whatsoever.

but i have NO TIME!

pathetic, sad, unhappy, stressed

okay, i gotta be positive.

gogogo

loves;
1:12 PM;

after seeing the poor bird yesterday, i'm now down with fever; sore throat; headache; muscle ache. why so suay?! is it really bad luck or what?

feeling so uncomfortable all over already and yet still bugged with ALOT of projects and assignments. now i know what its like to have time to die and no time to fall sick.

i'm really chui now. i want to sleep badly!! but still have to chiong project. when can i have a good rest?

:(

loves;
8:11 PM;

i saw a bird on my way home today. and i felt depressed. you wonder why i'm depressed when i saw that bird. it's a very normal bird, dead, squashed, flat. i mean, some stupid cars must have just run over that poor bird and literally flattened it! omg. you can't imagine how flat it is, just like a piece of paper. even its beak/mouth is FLAT! argh. its not a very pleasant sight. and its such a cruel way for a bird to die. i mean, its still a life..... wanted to take a photo of it, but i thought it would be sort of disrespectful for the poor bird, so i just said "ambithabba" and went home.

back to me. two major projects are down. left with 4 more projects and some personal assignments to complete. time seems to pass really fast.

and duno why, i feel so anti social again. prob due to stress. i have no motivation of going anywhere but home. no motivation to socialise and i feel that i really cannot click with most of my classmates. because they're not my type maybe? but then again, do you really choose your friends according to types? maybe its just me.

anyway... i watched "the spy next door" yesterday! a great action comedy which makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. its really worth the money. the next movie i wana watch will be "the tooth fairy", "day breakers" or something.

i really miss the past sometimes, can i go back?

loves;
2:44 PM;

i hate it when people don't do what they say they'll do.
or maybe i'm too serious.

i hate it when people don't confront me when they have problems with me.
honestly, guys don't do that.

all in all. i learnt that humans, can only trust one person, trust only yourself.

don't ever lose confidence in what you think is true, especially when others challenge you.
stick to what you know is right always.
others challenge because they are really not quite sure what they are sure of.

i had a great day with jun tee today. had a great day ranting. reading books and etc.
i had a great day!

loves;
10:37 PM;

if you really wana do it, then don't regret.
if you think you'll regret, then don't do it.

live in the past or move forward to an even happier future.
its your choice.
just do it.
you only live once.

there's no turning back.

people believe it when they see it.
why not try to believe you'll see it.
make your dreams come true.

nobody will understand how you feel no matter how much they say they understand.
its all bullshit because they are not you!

do you really wana learn the truth and get yourself hurt?
or do you really think ignorance is bliss?

don't give excuses.
if you really wana do it, you will do it.
if not, its simply because you're not willing.

in life, sacrifices have to be made.
nothing comes without a price.
not even a bloody word love.

maybe its not the best decision when i looked back.
but its the best i could made in that point of time.

don't think about pointless stuffs that doesn't come true in any way.

just be yourself.
it doesn't matter if they don't like you.
what matters is you are true.

just my thoughts right now.
nothing special.
nothing much.
its just me.

loves;
10:45 PM;

had quite an enjoyable time with my cousins today. my aunt brought me 2 box of sushi and many many many box of new year cookies! there goes my resolution. lols. my chocolate is also left uneaten. how sad.

my dream of going to clark quay and singapore river is not realised yet. now i dun even know what dream i have for my future. so directionless. and worse is maggie just reminded me that its quite impossible to get a bf after polytechnic studies, which is true. yup, i predict my future to be an old spinster living with my sis family. or maybe being sent to a lao ren yuan instead.

WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO DO???

loves;
10:48 PM;

something funny happened yesterday. let me just tell you all about this very lame incident. i was doing my stuffs and waiting for my friends to end class when an unknown number called me. i thought it was my teacher calling to tell me about my grades or something, so i answered. the guy on the other end was definately not my teacher. LOL! it was just a stranger to me. and he said he got my number from this guy so and so, WHO I DUN EVEN KNOW! so after a round of questioning, the so and so actually got my number from my UNCLE! omg. really ridiculous. really scared the guy on the other end is DOM. as explained my my teacher, DOM=Dirty Old Man.

but whatever. i'm still struggling with projects and assignments now. thinking of my future, is stable and boring better or exciting and stressed? i dun even know which one i really want. i want stable and exciting. but.... HAIS.

if only humans know how to be contented with what they have right now.
if only humans are simple creatures who do not cheat to get what they want, or break ppl's hearts.
if only life could be everything we ever wanted.
if only there is a time machine for us to go back to the past and see the future.
if only the direction in life could be clearer for us to see the path ahead of us.
and sometimes even, if only i had never met him, then i won't go through all the shit.
if only ...............

loves;
11:13 PM;

i realised the coffee i brewed has around 70% of the vietnam coffee i drank previously in vietnam! yay! hahaha. but still not quite thick enough.

feeling quite overwhelming these days. there's suddenly so many projects and so many stuffs to get it done by a certain deadline. omg. i feel stressed and everything negative. year 3 is really hell. how i wish i'm still doing my attachment in vietnam. but i'm gonna be damn homesick there.

i'm really glad i choose MQE as my IS module.
"when you believe it, you'll see it." that'll be my motivating phrase for this year! hopefully i can get some results on my resolution from this phrase.
"the world is full of possibilities". anything is possible!

yayaya. gonna plan out a real resolution schedule soon.

loves;
5:58 PM;

damn pissed over my stupid laptop today. its so loyal that it only works well in my home and NOWHERE ELSE! omg. super pek chek. it can't connect well in school. and now, even my msn is down. was still planning to do my project stuffs during the 1 hour break de lor. instead, i cursed and swear at my laptop for that whole hour! can you imagine?! of course, i curse and swear to myself. zzz.

but still. i'll swear i will get my IB stuffs settled by latest today 7pm. i still wana watch the wife's temptation! hahaha. and also brew my own vietnam coffee! the coffee only tahan until 1am for me yesterday, and the effect started to wear off. but still my coffee was fragrant de okay, got about 40% of the real vietnam coffee taste! :D

this weekend is real busy for me. and please please please let me have the motivation to carry on my resolution. maybe i'll start next week when i'm not so busy? =X
HAIS.

loves;
10:46 AM;

just had my BCOMM interview today. overall, it was so much better than my previous data gathering call can. hahaha. so i went home happily and reached home stressed. with so many things to do, i can't even relax and take a break.

bought a can of condensed milk to make my vietnam coffee. my coffee tasted just like the koufu coffee and not my vietnam coffee! should have put in more coffee powder and milk! nvm, i'll try again tml. die die must brew my perfect coffee. wahahha! happy! and then i will treat all of my friends to coffee next time. yayyyyyy!

have to really chiong my project now. so please do not disturb. lols.

loves;
8:14 PM;

just a normal day today, except that i've finally met my darling Maggie after duno how freaking long. and i just told her i won't meet her until i jian fei cheng gong! HAIS. bought a shoe bag for her as a belated birthday present. now i'm broke! i need money and energy and motivation! and yes, she owe me a movie.

i'm nearly buried under the mountains of project. think i'll be dying soon. can the school just spare a thought for us and let us have some space for revision? finals is like less than 5 weeks away i think. i just want to get over with it and have my holidayssssss.

anyway. my sis's results were out today. she score like damn good can. wayyyyyy better than mine, so happy for her. and because she's happy, i got alot of snacks also~ yay! somemore i'm on healthy diet now. eat anything also check the nutrition facts. even i cannot believe it myself, really becoming more and more virgo. hehe.

thinking of going vietnam for holidays. any interested peeps?

loves;
8:06 PM;

actually planning to go swimming today de. but i woke up at 10am! then you know, the sun so big, and i'm so lazy to prepare everything. so in the end! i never go. hais, stupid excuses. i PROMISE i will go next week! yeayeayea.

was chatting with my cousin online. he got gf le! so happy for him! don't know why i'm so excited also. hahahaha. can't wait to meet all my cousins during the cny!

i also promise myself i'm gonna be a whole new me after graduation! but duno why, i feel so restless today. want go out but so guilty. i really wana watch movie and go shopping and go see my ex colleagues. wana call up somebody for a chat, but duno why so lazy and tired and whatever. zzz.

i'm hopeless :(

loves;
3:42 PM;

had quite an eventful day today going to lectures and holland village to do my project. hahaha. and had quite an exercise too. going from blk 28 to blk 53 in ngee ann is like climbing hills to me. omg. plus the day is so hot! i sweat alot okay. tired til i don't have any appetite.

bought the starbucks passport today. 6 grande size coffee for $35! which means each cup is like $5 only! save like siao. happy! i just love their dark mocha, the thicker the better! yums :) but now my stomach is not feeling very well. but it feels good to actually share with fellow schoolmates about our oiap experience. i had a wonderful time today.

maybe there's really a certain factor that attracts one to certain people. the overall charisma and etc. i think that really matters. because there are some people, u'll just get so turn off with them after a few minutes of interaction, and some who wins your heart over in just a few seconds.

i have to burn midnight oil again today. hopefully, i'll have pure thoughts tonight. LOL!

loves;
8:22 PM;

sometimes, i really find life meaningless. not that i have suicidal intention. but whats the purpose of humans in life? i don't understand.

my motivation level is also super low nowadays. i just don't feel like working really hard to get something i want. like the carrot is just right in front, but i just don't even wana grab it. i don't know why.

i didn't know i'm actually graduating in like 5 weeks time until the teacher remind us. its like omg. how did time pass so fast?! has it really been 6 months? or more than that even. suddenly, i kinda miss the lifestyle in vietnam. i really wish to go back again. but only for holidays. haha.

what am i gonna do after graduation? i'm so directionless. hais. is it a normal reaction? or is it just me?

i've been following to my resolutions though. and it feels so good. gonna go swimming soon! can't wait!

loves;
10:18 PM;

i think there's something wrong with me.

i'm starting to have a phobia of going to school. starting to become very lazy. starting to hate projects. starting to be quite anti social. i'm not that enthu in making new friends. i like to go to places alone and enjoy time alone. now i don't even think i can go into uni, i just wana find a job with a decent pay. and a poor result doesn't make me cry anymore.

its just like nothing matters.

so now. whats wrong?

loves;
5:37 PM;

i'm gonna start my resolution like soon soon soon and soon!

no work today abit bu xi guan. its a boring day but quite relax. at least i dunid to stand til my legs ache. but i miss out all the laughters as well. i'm starting to miss eating those breads as well. hais. imagine sacrificing bread for freedom. okay, it makes no sense.

i used to check out those horoscopes every new year. but for some reason, i didn't this year. maybe i just don't believe in it anymore, because they never came true. esp for love matters. LOL! so reading it is like a waste of time. i believe that we should depend on ourselves for every outcome or decisions we're gonna make in this life.

the past is the past. letting it go and i'll be happier :)
friendship isn't worth to be ruined by someone else.

loves;
3:00 PM;

has been really busy chionging my work just to fufill the 70 hours. omg. so tired can! but finally, today is my last day working. got quite a mixed feelings actually. i wanted to quit so that i can have more free time. but on the other hand, i feel really happy working there. i'll miss my ex colleagues alot! it seems like i can only get my happiness there.

went to celebrate twin's birthday yesterday at vivo. we had dinner at white dog cafe, and the crabmeat pasta is not bad. hahaha. feel so sinful. i am supposed to be following to my resolution. sian. then we went around taking pictures. it was not the kind of celebration i expected because we didn't make it to clarke quay! so sad right! but nvm, it was still a great day with the girls!

school is re-opening soon. my projects are all like =.=

when can i stop wondering the things that will not happen and focus on my resolution? okay. i'll need ALOT of motivation. there's swimming for one, dieting, running? maybe not running. LOL! but maybe... some other way, there must be. hais.

read andrew's blog just now. i can't believe he asked maggie to jiayou in DB! for goodness sake! omg.

loves;
10:41 PM;